Today I heard from my mother that my grandfather recently had a heart attack. Last Thursday he had wandered away from the care facility he was in with my grandmother until she passed away in February. He showed up in a hospital after falling while trying to get onto a bus. I thank God for the people who called 911 and helped him. He is often confused about current reality these days.
I just found myself tearing up... deep tears and sadness. I remember how strong he always appeared to me. I remember how sharp his mind used to be... even when it caused him to be too sharp to others. I remember how when my biological dad walked out of my life, how my grandfather became a strong male in my life. He taught me (and my brothers) so many practical life skills. And he taught me that it is normal for me to be treated like a lady.
As I became old enough to think about marriage, I decided that I wanted my grandfather to have a key role in the ceremony.
It hit me by surprise this past year when I saw my grandparents, how much their bodies were failing them. I knew they were getting older, but because it had been a few years since I had last seen them, it was kind of a shock.
Hearing the news today of how my grandfather is doing has caused me sadness. I know that when the Lord allows me to get married and have children it is most likely that my grandfather will not be around on earth. And that brings tears to my eyes. I already lost my grandmother... losing my grandfather is inevitable, but I am already mourning some of that loss.