You usually do not realize how strongly you hold to your expectations until someone or something forces you to let go of your expectations.
I have a return ticket to Germany for 3 September 2010.
In order for me to use that ticket...
There is the expectation I have...
that I can use that ticket to return to Kandern, say goodbyes, join some meetings I need to be part of and then return to the states if needed or move to Italy if at 100%.
There is an expectation that others have for me...
that I will use that return ticket only if I have 100% of my monthly support coming in.
And I have come up against other unmet expectations recently...
The question I hear lately: Does God really want you to move to Italy?
The question usually follows talk about how I am still looking for ministry partners and not yet in Italy.
It reminds me of the unmet expectations I encounter to the fact that I am not dating or married yet. My own expectations and the expectations of others.
If I am not married yet does that mean God does not want me to get married?
I have full confidence that my desire for marriage and children is from the Lord.
I hold on to my expectations that God will provide in all areas of my life.
He will provide the money for support.
He will provide the wisdom and direction needed for that return ticket and the meetings in September.
He will provide a husband for me.
I hold on to my expectations that God's timing is perfect.
He will provide the money for support when His timing is right.
He will show me when to return to Europe and how to approach it.
He will bring me to my husband and my husband to me when we are ready.
I hold on to my expectations that no one, not even me, can determine my steps better than God.
A great thing about being in the states is time with friends and family... I had a lovely lunch with my brothers yesterday.