I love how God reveals Himself to me!

So this weekend I am taking care of a dog... Aliya is a 10 month old golden retriever.

Still a puppy...this is the first time that her owners have left her with someone else. She is a very obedient dog. Very friendly too.

She loves to play and go for walks and fetch sticks... she does not know how to bring them back to the thrower... that part of the retriever is still to be developed. :-)

I have watched her not eat and sulk around all weekend. It breaks my heart. She eventually eats and she has moments of joy... but she won't always play with me...it is as if her heart is not fully in it.

This morning I sat with her, and as I was telling her that I understand what it is like to have those who know you best leave... and how it feels lonely and if something is not right... I felt like God gently tapped me on the shoulder and cleared His throat... "um... my precious child..."

Sigh... I know when the Lord is pursuing me... and He is so gentle about it. Here I am, back in a place that I love, with people that I love... and yet... I am doing what Aliya is doing to me this weekend... Enjoying it... but half-heartedly. Not always... but more often than I desire.

I opened my journal back to July 19th... the Lord gave me a verse that day which struck me as an odd verse. 2 Corinthians 6:13... "as a fair exchange--I speak as to my children--open wide your hearts also." Paul was telling the Corinthians that he had been very open with his affection for them and he was asking that they return the favor... so to speak. I remember being very puzzled by this verse. Why would God take me to that verse? I am generally very open with my affections!

Ah... but Aliya showed me something... She lets me pet her and play with her... and feigns (I am sure part is genuine) response. How much better would it be if she would fully enjoy the love that I want to give to her?

And how much better would it be if I were to fully engage in and enjoy the love that is extended to me from people on this side of the ocean (and the States) and more importantly from God! And when I say fully... I mean my heart too.

Don't get me wrong... My heart is fully involved in my job here! I love that I get to full-time work toward Western Europe coming back to Christ! But it is my fault that I feel lonely here. It is my fault that I am not engaging fully. And since I desire to live fully in every moment that God has placed me... something needs to change.

I know that settling into a new environment and culture and language takes time. And I am so thankful that God is patient and that time is in His hands alone.

Okay, so there is one of my more personal posts. You get those once in a while. :-)