You usually do not realize how strongly you hold to your expectations until someone or something forces you to let go of your expectations.
I have a return ticket to Germany for 3 September 2010.
In order for me to use that ticket...
There is the expectation I have...
that I can use that ticket to return to Kandern, say goodbyes, join some meetings I need to be part of and then return to the states if needed or move to Italy if at 100%.
There is an expectation that others have for me...
that I will use that return ticket only if I have 100% of my monthly support coming in.
And I have come up against other unmet expectations recently...
The question I hear lately: Does God really want you to move to Italy?
The question usually follows talk about how I am still looking for ministry partners and not yet in Italy.
It reminds me of the unmet expectations I encounter to the fact that I am not dating or married yet. My own expectations and the expectations of others.
If I am not married yet does that mean God does not want me to get married?
I have full confidence that my desire for marriage and children is from the Lord.
I hold on to my expectations that God will provide in all areas of my life.
He will provide the money for support.
He will provide the wisdom and direction needed for that return ticket and the meetings in September.
He will provide a husband for me.
I hold on to my expectations that God's timing is perfect.
He will provide the money for support when His timing is right.
He will show me when to return to Europe and how to approach it.
He will bring me to my husband and my husband to me when we are ready.
I hold on to my expectations that no one, not even me, can determine my steps better than God.
A great thing about being in the states is time with friends and family... I had a lovely lunch with my brothers yesterday.
Expectations are ripe grounds for resentments for me. Surrender to the moment and the future takes care of itself. Trying to control the outcome so that I will be ok when I get there doesn't work for me. It leaves me feeling frustrated and fearful. My expectations are never a good thing for me to dwell on. Turning things, people, situation over to a loving caring powerful God, leaving them with God and living as best I can in the moment where all is well with my soul, peace and calm rule. Dad
ReplyDeleteGood thoughts - really good. Expectations are funny critters - and you're right, we don't know how many we have until many of them go unmet.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's never ending methinks. At least it has been for me. Having children, moving into a lead pastoring role, teaching... All very cool things. And all followed by more series of unmet expectations.
When that husband comes along or that return ticket is used, celebration! Followed by more expectations that won't surface until unmet. :) You're heart is in a good spot Miss Wright. Praying for it to stay there.
Questions are good, they help us to track with reality... But as Christians we have a new reality-- we walk by Faith, and by saying Faith I mean trust in a Reality that has not yet come to fruition.
ReplyDeleteI do not question your Call to Rome; Abraham left for a land he did not know out of trust in a God he was learning to know. He was obedient and followed in Faith, as are you. You are in Good Company! :-)
I know how hard it must be for you to be single-- When Becky and I were married in 1986, I was 35; God has truly blessed our marriage, partly I think because of preparing us both for so long before we finally understood we were made for each other. Funny thing was that we'd known each other for at least 10 years before that! You should ask Becky sometime if she will tell you about our courtship!
Melissa, one other thing I want to share with you as an elder brother if I may-- Having met you, you are a lovely mature and enjoyable person. You add depth and intellect in addition to your physical attractiveness. God has not short changed you, my sister!
I can only conclude that you are single by the Intervention and Grace of God, and that God has a wonderful plan for your life! (To steal a line, so to speak...)
In my single days there were many times I anguished and and prayed "Oh God, where is she?" Every now and again someone would drop into my life to play a bit part, as if God were saying, "See, I could do it in an instant if that were my plan!"
My faith was not strong about this, but I can tell you that in the end God gave me a mate better than any I could ever have chosen by myself.
We know who our God is, and we know that He Loves us, and that he will withhold no good gift from us. I trust and pray the same blessing will be true for you, Melissa!